An important message from the Amazon Priestess Tribe to the Pagan Community regarding Gender, Ritual Inclusiveness, and the Dianic Tradition
For immediate release
March 8, 2012
Bay Area, California
I. Statement of Tribal Evolution
II. Clarity around the use of the terms "Dianic" and "Pan-Dianic"
III. The Amazons are changing our name
I. Statement of Tribal Evolution:
With gratitude for a wonderful learning experience and warm memories of sisterhood over the past 5 years, Yeshe Rabbit and the Amazon Priestess Tribe announce that as of today, March 8, International Women's Day 2012, we are retiring from the Z Budapest lineage of Dianic Wicca in favor of forming an independent lineage that reflects our particular approaches and views regarding Goddess-centered practice.
We offer our reverent thanks for the wit, writings, and wisdom Z Budapest has offered us and the world, while acknowledging that we nonetheless find ourselves at thealogical and ethical crossroads with some core practices of her lineage.
Namely, we cannot support a policy of universal exclusion based upon gender at our Goddess-centered rites, nor can we condone disregard or insensitivity in communications regarding the topic of gender inclusion and Goddess-centered practice. We feel it inappropriate to remain members of a lineage where our views and practices diverge significantly from those of the primary lineage holder.
We support thoughtfulness and personal responsibility in each individual's selection of the best possible path for spiritual growth and evolution. No one can actually change another's mind, nor should anyone be forced to accept changes they cannot abide. Thus, we joyfully bow in gratitude as we depart this lineage of Dianic Wicca, and embrace our own change as the next natural step in our evolution as High Priestesses of the Goddess. We thank the pagan community for witnessing us in this transformation.
The Mysteries of the womb and menstrual life cycle are still the prevalent points of focus within our private group of 15 cis-gender, cissexual priestesses.* We have been working on these Mysteries for 5 years together. They are very powerful, very relevant to our individual and collective experiences, rooted in our own sovereign bodies. Thus, they are our preferred means for aligning with the Goddess within our sisterhood. We will continue to share this work with cis-gender women in personal and collective rites of passage, ceremonies for pregnant women and mothers, and the honoring of crones. Our blood is sacred, our blood is power, our blood is life.
We have also decided to create more readily-accessible public rituals that are inclusive of transgender women. We feel that, although none of us is qualified to speak to the personal experience of being transgender, by creating spaces that normalize inclusion, we are taking a step toward evolving this dialogue out of the mind, off the internet, and into actual bodies of actual women who are likely to find they have more in common than not in terms of the overall experience of being women in this world. Cis-women and trans-women share a common foe in patriarchy, and we feel it will be of significant benefit for all women to reach across various lines of division to bond, share, and strengthen our mission of its complete eradication. We grieve for the pain of our transgender sisters who have been harmed in response to their own declarations of sovereignty. We honor your strength and self-determination. Your blood is sacred, your blood is power, your blood is life.
Finally, we have decided that, at appropriate times, we will also offer rituals that are Goddess-centered and open to all. Patriarchy wounds and damages men as well as women. Denial of the Sacred Feminine is a shared concern for all life on Earth. We are seeking to create a paradigm of honoring life on this planet, where all bodies are treated gently and with respect. We believe that in order to achieve this reality, we need all members of society to participate in the vision of a world healed toward the feminine in all Her variation.
People tend to fear what they do not understand. Much of the hate directed at women, both cis-and trans-, is the result of ignorance and a subsequent impulse of fear-based domination, propagated not only by men but by other women as well. By opening our circles to our Goddess-loving brothers and sisters of all backgrounds, we seek to create opportunities for all who wish it to connect with the Divine Feminine as a means for generating increased gratitude and respect for life. We believe that connection with the Divine Feminine within each breast is crucial to ending patriarchy, honoring the body of the Earth, and all bodies, as beautiful and divine, and destabilizing the paradigm of "us/them." Do we really need a cataclysmic catalyzing event to show us that we are all cells of the same Earth body, each with our own role to play? We hope not. We believe that by embracing change on the individual and collective scale, we can create the world we want to live in and leave our children. We invite others who share this vision to connect with us in common purpose. Blood is sacred, blood is power, blood is life.
II. Clarity around the terms "Dianic" and "Pan-Dianic"
There are two well-known lineages of the Dianic Tradition in the US, those of Z Budapest and Morgan McFarland. There are countless sects and groups all over the world who are dedicated to the Goddess, but who are not members of either of these lineages, or who might not claim the term "Dianic" at all. Each Goddess lineage is unique in its approach to worship and membership, but most share a core thealogy of the Goddess as primary, complete unto Herself, and sovereign.
The Z Budapest Dianic lineage, also held prominently by Ruth Barrett and the Temple of Diana, currently offers membership to cis-gender, cissexual women only.
The Morgan McFarland lineage and many other Dianic and/or Goddess-centered lineages we have encountered in our travels and study have more inclusive standards for membership.
This difference in approach has led to some confusion and conflict between Dianic groups over the years, and it makes it difficult for the casual observer to know what exactly is meant by the term "Dianic." As of our most current research, Z Budapest, Ruth Barrett, and those in that lineage identify with the term "Dianic Wicca." Morgan McFarland and those in that lineage refer to themselves as "Old Dianic." These designations are helpful, but not universally known or clear.
To create what we hope to be greater clarity in terminology, we have decided, along with our sister Lady Rosmarinus Stehlik, and Devin Hunter's Living Temple of Diana (not to be confused with Ruth Barrett's Temple of Diana mentioned above) to henceforth refer to ourselves as Pan-Dianic, meaning that we specifically provide Goddess-centered rites and honor the Goddess as whole, sovereign, and complete unto Herself, and that we are open to sharing our vision and spiritual practices with people of all genders.
We see the vast ways in which people of all backgrounds and genders can find healing in the playfulness of the Great Maiden, the arms of the Great Mother, the wisdom of the Great Crone, and in the sovereignty of the Great Queen. By defining ourselves as Pan-Dianic, we hold the truth that the Goddess is embodied, exalted, and empowered in thousands of cultures, in a wide array of diverse bodies, and in countless different spiritual traditions, toward the highest possible good for all worlds.
As Pan-Dianics:
We honor everyone walking their own paths of knowing and serving the Goddess, including all beings of all genders.
We respect the sovereignty and autonomy of all individuals/groups to ritually honor the Goddess as whole and sovereign unto Herself according to their unique needs and preferences.
We support, for those who wish it, ritually gathering around specific experiences with appropriately- and respectfully-invited attendees rather than biological determinism as a matter of universal exclusion. For example, we believe it is every 11-year-old Maiden's right to determine who will be present at her First Moon ceremony. We equally support gatherings that are open to all self-identified women for exploration of the varieties of women's experiences. We equally support groups of gay men gathering to honor their own Goddess natures. We support the right of trans-women to create rituals specific to their experiences, and to share these with other trans-women and cis-women as they see fit. We support the idea of cis-gender, cissexual, heterosexual men gathering to explore the Goddess as daughter, friend, universal love, mother, queen, self. And so forth, into infinite beautiful variety.
We hold for clarity, compassion, and linguistic sensitivity in delineating intentional sacred space, and mindfulness toward how we communicate around the topics of privilege, healing, and spirituality. Our discourse shapes the universe. Words are breath, power, actualization. We hold our use of language as a significant magical responsibility.
We hold a commitment to elevation of all women's rights at the center of our vision. We believe that elevation of cis-women's and trans-women's rights to a position of honored equality will open humanity as a whole toward a more balanced and healthy approach to life, the planet, and consciousness.
We invite others who share our commitment to personal sovereignty and inclusive Goddess community to also adopt this terminology, if it feels correct to you. There are no initiations required to call yourself Pan-Dianic. If what you read here resonates with you, you will just know it to be your truth. Beyond that, your choice to study with any teacher, or join or initiate into any particular group is a private matter, up to you.
We thank all who join us in self-identifying as Pan-Dianic, for taking up the mantle of Goddess-centered practice, personal/group sovereignty, and self-determination alongside us.
III. The Amazons are changing our name
The word Amazon is beloved by many within the Z Budapest Dianic lineage as a powerful symbol of their spirituality and the fight for women's rights. As part of our respectful departure from this lineage, we relinquish the name "Amazon." As a Tribe, while we still hold powerful protection, equality, justice, and care for all women at the core of our mission, we also feel that using this name creates confusion about our place in the dialogue, linking us with those whose approach to Goddess worship is predicated upon gender exclusivity. We have seen many Dianics identifying with the term Amazon who do not speak for our Tribe. We feel that in order to move forward with greatest possible clarity, and as a signifier of our new Covenant as an independent, Pan-Dianic lineage, a name change is in order that reflects our collective identity and commitments.
We hereby bid the name Amazon farewell, with gratitude for all it has meant to us and taught us.
We are happy to announce that we will henceforth be known as the
Bloodroot Honey Priestess Tribe
We feel our new name encapsulates the blood rites that are sacred to our group's practices, the holy knowing that where there is blood in all beings, there is life, our gratitude for the sweetness of life, and the profound Ancestral reverence that characterizes our particular approach to honoring the Goddess and women. The name means much more to us as well, individually and collectively, but these are the most important reasons to enumerate here.
We thank our pagan sisters and brothers, as well as anyone else in the world who might be reading this declaration, for your witness to our growth and evolution, our efforts toward linguistic clarity and appropriate appellation, and our grateful love for the Goddess.
Each of us is a woman, a person, with thoughts, feelings, and our own stories of who we are and what we represent. You can learn more about us by clicking below, where some of us have shared our thoughts on this journey from a personal point of view.
Signed,
Yeshe Rabbit
High Priestess of Alchemy, Lineage Holder, dedicated to Oshun
Stella Iris RedRaven
High Priestess of Conscious Joy, dedicated to the Morrighan
Duat Ka Neit Kismet
High Priestess Who Walks Between the Worlds, dedicated to Kismet-Bast
Doyenne Rowan Nightshade
High Priestess of Esoterica, dedicated to Eris
La Strega Manea Trinacria
High Priestess of Wild Magic, dedicated to Diana
Mistress Ladybug
High Priestess of Colors, dedicated to Aphrodite
Raven of the Redwoods
High Priestess of Audacious Integrity, dedicated to Brighde
Lady Maia Mermaid
High Priestess of the Sacred Hearth, dedicated to Aphrodite
Chieftain Branwen
High Priestess of the Primal Heart, dedicated to the Morrighan
Mistress Zafira Stardust,
High Priestess of the Sacred Fire, dedicated to Hekate
Madame Hummingbird Rainbow
High Priestess of Sacred Dance, dedicated to Hekate
Q'desha Yansumi Diwata
High Priestess of Music, dedicated to Lilith
Kyria Skotas
High Priestess of the Threads of Secrets, dedicated to Hera
Wishbringer Molly Blue Dawn
High Priestess of Serendipity, dedicated to Sheila-na-Gig
Thora Ąžuolas
High Priestess of Stars and Storms, dedicated to Isis-Heqt
So mote it be.
Sealed with blood
Sealed with honey
Sealed with truth
* Please note: Cis-gender and cissexual are the more neutral terms for the greatly-debated phrase "women-born-women." While we do not feel that the terms "cis-" and "trans-" represent the poetic best that the language of the Goddess is capable of in describing the
masterpiece of each body, we are respectfully committed to using these terms until widely agreed-upon poetic and magical terminology evolves within the Pan-Dianic community.
I wish you well and the best in your ever evolving journey.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to the Bloodroot Honey Priestess Tribe!
ReplyDeleteI am pleased to see this evolution. I hold out hope you will extend some of those cisgender-only rites to your trans sisters so they may experience those magics as they and you are called to share them, but that is for you to work with amongst yourselves. The fact you stand apart from Budapest is a strong step in the right direction. Blessings on you all.
ReplyDeleteOur intent is that each HPS of a given circle, or each recipient of a rite of passage, will be free to determine the boundaries of her circle for whatever purpose. There is potential for limitless possible combinations of people within that scope, all in a state of magical, co-creative, willing alignment.
DeleteThat's good to hear.
DeleteLots of work went into this document, it is really beautifully crafted and well said. May your new Lineage prosper and continue to be an important part of our Pagan community.
ReplyDeleteA thoughtful and sensitive approach. It's clear that you have put a lot of thought into this. I salute your efforts! :-)
ReplyDeleteMy dear Rabbit,
ReplyDeleteFrom one that has been told that "Drums are not for women" and has found that the power and grace of the drum knows no gender, I applaud the decision of you and your sisterhood. To acknowledge that there are mysteries understood by blood of every kind and to suggest that both the sharing of some and the keeping of others would be beneficial to the all is both subtle and profound. As my path and craft are at odds with those that would claim it as their own and exclusive to such, I have encountered the same prejudices on both a lesser and greater scale. My defenses have been both successful and fruitless in my attempts to enlighten those that choose to seek solace in the darkness of outmoded ideas.
A Cherokee elder once explained the difference in attitudes between the Nations over their intellectual and spiritual "property" as the difference in waters. To create a dam can have many benefits, but, without fresh waters, it can and will soon grow stagnant and kill everything it touches as it becomes home to organisms that are not good for the whole. However, a free flowing stream retains nothing and can, if flooded, become equally destructive. To harness the power of water while allowing it change and flow is a delicate balance that not all can manage. Some prefer the permanence of the dam, while others cannot survive without the free unfettered flow of the wild stream. The same can be said of spirit. Yet, only in the balance of these two supposed opposites is there room for advancement of the whole through the enlightenment of the individual.
No matter what ones path, to walk it in balance is the true test. It is not easy. To be pulled or pushed from it by forces not of ones decision is easy. To walk it blindly is easier. To make the decision to forge a new path that follows the same landscape while exploring new territories is hard. This is what your sisterhood has chosen to do. To do so without crossing paths with others that would not understand is impossible. Only by walking in balance and grace may these encounters with those that prefer the stagnancy of the well travelled path be handled well.
This drum maker wishes you and all that share your ideals the greatest of luck and grace in your choice. It shall not be an easy one. Things that are right rarely are. Thank you - all of you - for your brave wisdom where both bravery and wisdom were needed. Thank you also for a brief, necessary, reminder of what my path is about, too. Though ours are different, they are parallel in many ways.
- The Crystal Coyote
I'll just say that I love you and will continue to support everything you do. I think this is a wonderful day for Modern Paganism.
ReplyDeleteAs a ciswoman who has been told by Dianic priestess that I am not a "proper" or "whole" woman for various reasons (such as choosing to be child-free) and as a friend of transwomen, I thank you for your open minds and for taking this step forward. Many blessings on your Path.
ReplyDeleteGreat evolutionary step well done! :)
ReplyDeleteYour thoughtful press release about the steps you have taken is a great and necessary service to the development and maturation of Dianic witchcraft. I am glad to see it.
ReplyDelete(Deborah Bender)
This is a beautiful statement, a great vision for Goddess-centered spirituality. Thank you.
ReplyDelete- sm
Blessings to you and your Tribe for taking this courageous step. Thank you for your inclusivity.
ReplyDeleteYay! *applause* *waving arms in the air*
ReplyDelete"Cis-women and trans-women share a common foe in patriarchy" -- indeed! *more applause*
Thank you for this articulate and inspiring declaration.
All honor and greetings to Yeshe and her sisters in the Bloodroot Honey Priestess Tribe!
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost, I applaud you on this step along your journeys in this life. Second, I humbly ask permission to read this statement into my podcast archives (www.blogtalkradio.com/pagan-musings). Third, I would also ask that you or someone within the Tribe come onto my podcast channel and talk about this change.
We have discussed at length the incidents at both PantheaCon 2011 and this year, but as none of us on the podcast channel have had the joy of attending PantheaCon, nor have we had much direct contact with anyone involved, we feel that we are lacking something to share with our audience. I personally feel that I am not fully understanding what has transpired, but I have been muddling through on my own personal journey to understanding.
Blessings to you all!
-RevKess of Pagan-Musings Podcast Channel
ps: You can reach anyone of us at PMPC through paganmusings@gmail.com
RevKess, and all,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind support. We are grateful for the outpouring of positive feedback we have received, here and elsewhere.
You completely have my permission to read our statement on your show, and better yet, I'd be delighted to come and speak with you directly if you think it best. Blessed be.
What a beautiful and moving statement of intent.
ReplyDeleteRabbit, You have always been a wonderful priestess and this kind of progressive decision is just proof of that. I am honored to call you my friend and to have had the pleasure of knowing you for as long as I have. I honor you and the women who have come to this choice and think it is a wonderful thing. Hats off.
ReplyDeleteThank you for doing this, Rabbit, and all the other priestesses who have taken this stand. Things are changing in our communities, and I think this is a very important and significant moment for us all.
ReplyDeleteI'm so pleased to hear this, and I commend all of you! I'm quite certain that Diana/Artemis, Athena/Minerva, Isis, Ma'at, and Hathor--amongst many other goddesses--are pleased by this move; I'm also quite certain that many male gods and/or heroes, including Antinous and Polydeukion, are also very pleased! I look forward to walking these new paths with you (where appropriate!) into the future!
ReplyDeleteI wish you good luck and many more years of growth.
ReplyDeleteThis document is beautifully written and thorough. It clearly defines who you are and what you believe. It also provides the most complete description of the Dianic Tradition that I've read to date. I found the differentiation between the Budapest and McFarland lineages extremely helpful in understanding why some Dianics speak and act the way they do. Obviously a lot of work was involved in the creation of the message. I commend you for making the effort and for taking a stand for trans-women rights.
ReplyDeleteBest Wishes Always,
Padraig
Dear Rabbit, I would just offer one correction: "Cissexual" and "cisgender" mean "is not transsexual or transgender." Men who were designated boys at birth are just as cissexual/cisgender as women who were designated girls at birth.
ReplyDeleteNow, personally I dislike the word "cisgender" because it seems simultaneously over-vague and over-specific - given that there is an infinity of ways to "perform" gender, "cisgender" - unlike "cissexual" - seems to me like a term that enforces gender stereotypes - and really, that's not a good place to be in.
Best wishes as always,
Katie
Hi Katie,
DeleteWe did use these words in the spirit of what you are saying here, though we could not possibly list every potential experience without going on, which we already did quite a bit :)
Toward a more effective nomenclature! The pagan community is filled with poets and wordsmiths. Surely that will be a great next step for us all. "All is restored in beauty."
Love,
Rabbit
Thank you for the Public Evolution of spirituality, the cause of equality and the Compassion in which you handled it.
ReplyDeleteMany Blessings,
Autumn of New Orleans
You are such a beautiful spirit and you move me and my desire for greater understanding. I wish you well and look forward to see what this change brings.
ReplyDeleteBright Blessings to you,
Cynthia
You have always been, and now than ever, firmly in the lineage of the Goddess. Blessed be thou.
ReplyDeleteI'm forwarding this to a good friend. Recently, her heart was broken, and I'm sure your decision will be pure healing. May your new endeavors flourish like the whimsical buds in the universal spring.
ReplyDelete*tears of joy* I look forward to "coming home" as my teaching/school schedule will allow me. I have missed all of you and this was one huge barrier that I could not personally grapple with at the time.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful and I rejoice with the Tribe at this fork in the journey.
Blessed Be!
This was graciously submitted by Rev. Ava Park of the Goddess Temple of Orange County. All love and gratitude to Rev. Ava, First Priestess Morrighan, the Naiads, the Votresses, and the Priestess members of this special place in Irvine, and in our hearts.
ReplyDelete“The essence of goddess tradition is freedom for all, and so, just as we fully support Z Budapest in the freedom to continue her lineage and tradition, we fully support Lady Yeshe Rabbit and her sisters in choosing a new path for themselves in their spiritual expression. On behalf of the congregation of The Goddess Temple of Orange County, we express our great appreciation for the skill and wisdom of the women of the newly named “Bloodroot Honey Priestess Tribe” in ritual space, and in Sunday Services at The Temple, and we very much look forward to their next visits this year. Blessed be."
---Ava, Presiding Priestess, for The GODDESS TEMPLE of Orange County.
Beautiful! I am so lucky to witness this change to acceptance. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteDear Rabbit and Priestesses, I am thankful for your respectfulness and kind spirit in a move that is a big transition. I am sure that this was a well thought, discussed, and meditated transition and will be a blessing to many individuals and to the Pagan community as a whole.
ReplyDeleteI love the diversity of our community and the cooperation when our various traditions/paths/practices support each other.
If ever this Saxon-Druid can be of any support, count me here.
Many continued blessings on the journey of the Bloodroot Honey Priestess Tribe and your work.
~ john
amoderndruid.blogspot.com
Too bad Priestess Ava at the Goddess Temple in OC does not allow Transwomen at Sunday service herself.
ReplyDeleteSoraya, this was formerly the case, but Rev. Ava has recently (Jan 22, 2013) sent out this post to explore ways in which the Temple can be more inclusive:
Delete"Over the years we have had a bit of controversy over our definition of “woman” and our “women only” policy for many events. The human reality is that there are many more genders than just “male” and “female.” These other genders are not recognized or honored in our society, and this refusal to see reality has caused untold harm to countless numbers. Beginning this year, it is our intention to identify, name, formally recognize and honor these as-yet unacknowledged genders, creating a sacred place for each in our community. Those (of any gender) who are interested in being part of this unfolding and groundbreaking work, please contact us. You will be invited to join a committee, the intent of which will be to guide The Goddess Center’s gender policies for the greatest good for all."
Transwomen are women. They don't need Rev Ava or a committee to define them, they are perfectly capable of defining themselves. And yet they aren't being given the honor of the communion of sisterhood. She STILL does not not acknowledge that they are women, preferring instead to say they are some
ReplyDelete"other" gender! And wanting to create a safe sacred space for each?! This is so insensitive! She still obviously does not get that Transwomen are WOMEN. There is a counter protest planned for the March 10 Slutwalk to call attention to this matter. It's called "Women are Women".
I'm also more than a little curious as to why Bloodroot Honey Priestesses still attend services at and afffiliates with The Goddess Temple OC, yet has broken with Z Budapest for doing the exact same thing, i.e, the policy of Transgender Women exclusion at Women only Sunday services.
ReplyDeleteSoraya, I can see that you would prefer that everyone share your exact views on this matter, but they do not. Such is the way of community. Everyone is in their own process of understanding, and we are not all at the same place with it. Z Budapest has made, and continues to make, hateful comments about gender expression and transwomen. Rev. Ava has done no such thing, and in fact has been very supportive of the Tribe in our own growth. In fact, she has begun her own path of exploring this topic in her own community due to our conversations. Her openness and willingness to re-evaluate and reconsider the Temple's previous stance is, to me, progress. You might not see it that way, and that's OK, but it does not change my views.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I feel glad that Rev. Ava and the Temple are now opening several of their monthly services to all, are in the process of re-evaluation of how they relate to gender identity using an inclusive and community-sourced multi-gender model that resonates with a more global perspective on gender, rather than focusing on the binary model only, and that they have been amply welcoming and supportive of the fact that when we come to visit, we host inclusive events there.
Wow I never said I'd prefer anyone to share my exact views. I'm trying to get all sides of this and have posed the same questions to communities I work with and people I know in the community. I've heard some very great pertinent comments for and against cis-gender exclusive rituals.
ReplyDeleteRev Ava has made some really horrible comments in past, actually. I'm not going to share them here, but I surely have plenty of them should anyone care to see them. I don't think they were made out of hatred or spite, simply ignorance on the issues. However, they are out there, just FYI. From March 2012.
So, I think the solution of the moment for Goddess Temple is a third rail for Transwomen, which if I'm gathering right, is considered some other gender besides female. Still not allowed in on Sunday but included when "All Gender" events are held.
I admire what you've done here with your own Tribe. Sorry if I came off wrong. I do believe self identification is important though. It takes power away when a woman is not allowed to self identify her own gender. This is something Rev Ava did not seem to get as of March 2012, but maybe times are changing. I hope so.
I'm sorry if I misread your tone and words here. I felt an opinionated and somewhat coercive energy behind them, but if I was wrong in that read, I take correction and apologize for any offense.
DeleteMarch 2012 was a very powerful time of change for many people on this issue. You might note the date stamp on this post was March 2012. A lot can happen and change in a year, as we have seen.
The exploratory committee Ava is putting together is to help her determine what is going to be right for the women in her immediate community, including Trans women. I think she is stepping a very cautious foot out into what has frequently been a caustic, violent, and vicious debate. I was on the receiving end of that for a long time. She saw how it went for me. I do not blame her one bit for trying to step gingerly, even though that means things do not move in the swift, broad and sweeping way some might hope.
I know my friend and her heart. I know she is doing her best with this issue, given the considerations of her specific community, geographic location, and local zeitgeist. She is certainly not in a geographic area known for its enlightened treatment of women of any background. She IS doing revolutionary work there.
Let me explain something a bit more here, but then I will not be going forward with this conversation online, and welcome you to contact me to discuss this with the in-person or on-the-phone gravitas it deserves.
When I used to be a second grade teacher, I expected that all the children in my class would arrive already knowing their alphabet. Yet, sometimes, they didn't know their alphabet. Maybe they didn't jive with the teacher, maybe their parents weren't very involved or supportive, maybe they only just moved here from another country and alphabet wasn't even a word they knew. There were so many possible reasons they did not know their alphabet yet. And no amount of me feeling frustrated, worried, or concerned would make them learn it faster. And if they grew frustrated, resistant, embarrassed by not knowing their letters...it only served to make it harder for them to learn. They felt choked by the pressure.
When I was attacked, sent death threats and threats of violence, called names, denied my voice by respected media outlets, and publicly castigated around this issue, it did not serve my learning. It only served to traumatize me, make me feel less-than, make me feel like I was somehow permanently stained by my lack of knowledge. It pushed me into a corner and made me feel afraid, not curious, not at all interested in learning more.
How would you feel about a second grade teacher screaming a kid for not knowing the alphabet perfectly? Or an employer screaming at an employee for not knowing perfect English?
When we treat people cruelly, castigate them for ignorance rather than giving them space to learn, support, and resources, and make people feel stupid, we do not serve the higher learning or growth of any individual. In order to grow and flourish and come to the table in peace, we all need space, patience, support, and kindness to be our guides.
I think that if this conversation moved away from accusation and toward education, everyone would benefit. It doesn't actually matter if some are still flinging insults and trying to hurt people in order to be heard. That is who they are choosing to be right now. Who am I choosing to be is the more relevant issue for me. And my self-definition includes patience, kindness, and support for my friends, even when we occasionally disagree.
Prejudice is not analogous to a child not knowing an alphabet. Really it isn't. It disappoints me that so often, people who stop discriminating in a particular way think that they deserve congratulation for doing so.
ReplyDelete-- David-Sarah Hopwood
David-Sarah,
DeleteI think we might have very different perspectives on this rooted in different experiences. I'm not sure what your experience is, but I will share mine. As someone who spends a lot of time helping adults come to terms with their inner child fears, child wounds, and child ignorance, I do not think my comparison off the mark. A lot of what you might choose to assign intention to, I might perceive as ignorance. There are many different factors at play here, some of which are based in class, geographic location, demographic, and generation that might be attributable to lack of experience rather than discrimination.
I do not see anyone here thinking they deserve congratulations. I do know that offering positive affirmation when someone is making steps to change for the better can be encouraging to that change.
Blessings,
Rabbit